There
is nothing SCARIER than rejection, so this Halloween face your fears by
entering our spooky writing clinic and contest. Not only will you get help
crafting your submission package, you’ll have the opportunity to win a chance
at publication by Curiosity Quills Press.
There are two types of bloggers involved:
Minions: Writers with query ready manuscripts.
Super villains: Published and pre-published authors from Curiosity Quills.
Each super villain will be assigned a team of minions to mentor. Each
team will have a spooky name and theme. The super villain whose minions get the
most requests from the judges will win bragging rights as villain
supreme.
Now, doesn't that sound intriguing? Some of you have already read my query from GUTGAA, but life's all about taking chances, right? And given that I didn't make it in ANY round at GUTGAA becuase the slots were filled in like, a nanosecond, I'm seeing this as a new opportunity to improve my query. Well, without further ado, here's my
query for The Curse of the Seven, fellow
minions and supervillains :)
Dear Supervillain:
Seventeen year-old Aria’s plans for becoming a Sentinel come to a halt
when her twin sister Mara connects with the magical threads of their world,
turning into the first Threader out of royal bloodline in the history of
Aragua.
But some threads of Aragua are untangling, losing pieces of the world to
different dimensions. It all turns out to be part of a curse set upon the former
Threader Karena by a vengeful goddess. Aria realizes that not only the Empire
is in danger but her only sister’s life as well: Mara’s mission of weaving the
threads together is at risk.
To top it off, Aria is supposedly destined to bring the missing pieces
back. She cares little about superstitions and myths, but when her sister
weakens and falls into uninterrupted sleep, she knows at least she has to try.
Being the last links to the original curse, Karena’s seven sons are
essential in solving the issue with the threads. Aria begrudgingly accepts
the help of the two most solicitous brothers; arrogant, handsome Jael and
sweet, caring Liam. The trio tracks down the missing pieces of land, uncovering
in the process a centuries-old plot to break the Threader's bloodline.
With characters inspired by the old guarani tale of Tau and Kerana, The
Curse of the Seven is finished at 80,000 words and has series potential.
Well, I won't be much use to you, but I think your query reads great and I'm not for sure what I can suggest to add to it.
ReplyDeleteSorry, but I'm not for sure what to suggest!
Well done:)
I'm a new follower, wishing you best wishes this month:)
Talynn
Since I'm only a minion, I can say I like the premise, but would like to know more about the Sentinel and Threader's. Also, maybe for me anyway more why.
ReplyDeleteNice! All I can suggest is to tighten it up. Bring it down to three paragraphs of summary. Having her sister's life be in danger is enough reason. I'd suggest cutting the line about sleep and giving more resolve to the part where she determines to go on this quest. Also, put a little more about the antagonist. An editor will want to know where this quest leads, not just the book cover blurb.. Good voice. Keep that at all costs.
ReplyDeleteJohana,
ReplyDeleteWow, great story, and if Talynn says she can't help and James say 'Good voice' gosh, I'm envious! :)
Happy success!
Johnana,
DeleteOkay a second look, and you know I'm no expert, But I read and re-read the first sentence. I would make it two sentences. My suggestion in Caps.
Seventeen year-old Aria’s plans for becoming a Sentinel come to a halt when her twin sister Mara connects with the magical threads of their world,(AND FALLS ASLEEP.)ARIA BECOMES THE FIRST NON ROYAL THREADER IN THE HISTORY OF ARAGUA. turning into the first Threader out of royal bloodline in the history of Aragua.
I am probably so far off base here, please forgive any misinterpretations I've made. I honestly thought it was great especially when the experts said so earlier.