So someone (no idea who) put me on the list for the Insecure Writer's Support Group. The idea is so fantabulous that I can't help but going along, although some notification would have been lovely.
For those of you who have no idea, the purpose of this group is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds! Really, when you think about it, why the hell didn't someone thought of doing this ages ago?
It feels like I've been writing for ever, but the truth is I'm just starting out, at least seriously. I have one finished manuscript that still needs heavy revising, and three other projects which are half-way and on the drawer. Oh, and I'm starting a new one now for NaNoWriMo. I'm really excited about it.
But then again, I'm always excited about WIPs when they are born. Those three that are unfinished were my dearest babies at their respective times, but somewhere along the way of plotting and pansing (I'm a hardcore hybrid) I just lost the way.
I don't know about you guys, but when I "lose my muse" it's virtually impossible for me to get back on track. It's n times easier to just start a new WIP and wait for those ground-breaking ideas to come to me in a moment of clarity and make my lost manuscripts jump out of the drawer. And before you even think about saying anything, I'm know that I'm being incredibly stupid about that approach.
And it's not even that my one-liners for those manuscripts were bad. One is about a teenage girl who's been raised in a secret society of empaths (they are matriarchal) and havoc wrecks when they find a boy in their midst. Another is about a college girl (New Adult, if you must. When I started it, that term wasn't as popular as it is now) who was murdered and for some reason comes back to life. It has something to do with the weapon used to kill her, she didn't become a vampire or anything paranormal like that. And the other one is about four girls who are the ancient embodiment of the seasons (think of them as faeries, except that word is never actually mentioned). See? They are kind of cool, in my humble opinion. But they are only half-way done.
And my mother pressuring me to just FINISH them of course helps nothing. I'm sure she means well, but... not really helping. I got stuck in a place that only I can crawl out of. I'm well aware of that.
Not to justify my procrastination or anything like that, BUT... my working theory is that I just haven't lived enough. I'm young. And I know that there are gifted teenagers out there who could write a pullitzer-deserving novel but not all of us are like that. It's a fact we have to accept. It's specially hard when you consider that as a child, I was always ahead of my peers. I was spoiled into believing I was "smart". Parents, don't tell your children they are the best, even if they are. I'm not saying I was perfect, because God knows that would be big, fat lie. But it sure didn't help me accept failure. And I say this with no presumptions or anything. It's just how things are.
Great, now this post makes me sound like a spoiled brat, doesn't it? But whatever. It's cheaper than therapy and helps just as much.
Anyway, more on these and other subjects in posts to come :)